Monday, July 22, 2013

Holistic parenting

THE JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD
IS NOT EXPERIENCED
 FULLY UNTIL THE 
CHILDREN R IN BED

PLEASE PASS ME THE
PARENTING BOOK I
NEED TO SMACK MY
CHILD WITH IT


IF U HAVE NEVER BEEN 
HATED BY A CHILD
U HAVE NEVER BEEN 
A PARENT 

Holistic parenting

There is no course book or a holy manuscript, where the rules and system of holistic parenting are laid down. Parenting is not governed by any specific set of laws. I have read books on parenting, teaching one to treat  your child with respect- not to shout; scream at them or even try to out scream them (Uff -tough job, it's so much more easy to do). Well while most of the time it is true, there may be quite a few times on your road trip to good parenting when the road is so infested with pits and muddy pot-holes that despite your best maneuvering tactics you are bound to slip into them and come out muddy and messy.

 Imagine a situation where your toddler decides the best place to put his/her potty skills to practice is an empty nook of your priceless newly acquired teak cabinet. You are happily engaged in the kitchen making caramel for the pudding, valuing the rare pin drop silence (Warning-without fail these are the times when toddlers are engaged in their deadliest activities). Crash!!! And your heart stops….you think -Is my precious child OK???! You run (no not for cover) and discover the little devil grinning innocuously, holding your best white gown with  mysterious  yellow stains on it. The dark brown cabinet too has turned magically a tint lighter, plus, there is a familiar foul stench emanating from it. - Your beautiful prized sculpture from Switzerland broken into trillion pieces and now there is smoke and burning smell oozing out from the kitchen too. Yes imagine all these!!! I’m sure every parent will find some resemblance to this scene. Now tell me you never once shrieked, squealed, screeched  or screamed and I’ll come touch your feet ;))))


THE QUICKEST WAY FOR A PARENT
TO GET THEIR CHILD'S ATTENTION
IS TO SIT DOWN AND LOOK COMFORTABLE 


The fact is that we all fall short of the ideal (at least by the rule book standard). What do we do after we fall? Do we have nightmares feeling all guilt? Do we worry our child is being abused and try to compensate for  what we did wrong to our child? Yes may be a little, but it doesn't do any good to your child or yourself to judge yourself too harshly. We have to set the limits, boundaries and rules for the child and stick to them ourselves. An occasional shout doesn't ruin your child's personality( I have a problem with occasional spank though- since the activity is so addictive a parent might lose control of where to stop). One cannot lose sleep feeling guilty about that. Much harm is done by compensatory behavior. If we have no time for our child we try to compensate, rather buy their love by bribing (giving in to their demands, buying unnecessary gifts). Without being too preachy all I want to communicate is that- if your child knows you love them and dislike their particular deed or behavior,  they will still continue to love you and you are still a good parent to them.
I PLAN TO GIVE U
LOVE, CARE,NURTURE
& JUST ENOUGH DYSFUNCTIONAL
2 MAKE YOU FUNNY 

More recently parents are faced with a peculiar dilemma- To be a more like a guide a parent or to be more like a friend and companion. It is indeed a tight rope to walk. One wrong step and you crash out. No matter how open we are with our children we need to accept (without weighing it too much on our ego) that there may be things that the child will share only with friends or rather keep away from us. No matter how many bottles of beer you share with your teenager if he/she smokes a pot the chances are high that he/she doesn't come and tell you. So what does a parent do? I for one am totally clueless. All the same I feel that one has to trust instinct and good sense, to cut the cake and have it too. The trick lies in being seen by your child as a confidant/friend as well as a guardian angel. Basically a parent has to be a good juggler, slipping seamlessly into different shoes.

So parenting is something which has to be learnt on the field, changing according to the requirement of the child, age and time. There are no shortcuts to become a good parent. One has to go through the tough job of child-rearing guided by instinct and certain basic values like- affection, mutual respect, and of course love. By having the resolve to nurture a child into a good human being, a parent grows and learns along with the child. For example reading a book on gardening, seeking advice from experts and tips from friends may help you to create a decent garden. At the end of the day, it is your effort that can make a garden bloom. Only you can attend to the plants specific  needs with loving care, give it time, keep a certain plant away from the scotching heat,  pluck out the dead leaves, give it medicine etc. The first and basic step towards holistic parenting is having the resolve to provide a beautiful childhood to your child and make them flower into wonderful contributing human beings.



YOU CAN'T SCARE ME 
I HAVE CHILDREN 





A good parent doesn't just provide for the physical needs of the child but rather, takes care that the soul is nourished too. A beautiful soul emerges when values and good morals like respect for fellow human’s, empathy, honesty, fortitude and kindness etc are inculcated in the child. A good parent is also one who encourages, curiosity, learning and exploration, keeping in mind that the child too is a different individual with different interests, expectations, and goals. It takes truck loads of patience to let your child tie that shoe lace on his/her own in the morning, while the school bus is honking – But then if missing the bus one day means your child learns something new then so be it. The job of a good parent is to make the child increasingly self-reliant.  Wow! That was easy to thing and write….if only practicing it was just as simple….HAPPY PARENTING…HAPPY PRACTICING.



I LOVE TO PLAY HIDE AND SEEK WITH MY KIDS BUT SOME OF MY GOAL IS TO
FIND A PLACE WHERE I CAN STAY HIDDEN TILL MY KIDS ARE IN COLLEGE

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